Progress does not always proceed in a solitary direction of forward motion. Often, after advancing a few steps, it regresses backwards as it gradually shifts towards expansion. It can be challenging to see beyond the parameters of our expectations of where we think we “should” be in life. At times it may feel as though we are going in circles without making any headway at all.
I’ve come to realize, when acquiring new habits, lapses into callow automatic reactions are a natural part of the process. For me it is essential during such times to practice patience and unconditional self-acceptance.
I have two choices when faced with this dilemma: I can choose to condemn and emotionally punish myself for my failures, or I can choose to be gentle with myself, embracing the fact that I am human and have imperfections. This does not excuse my deeds, I still must take complete responsibility for my actions, but it allows me to detach my conduct from who I am as a person. I am not my behavior and just because I make mistakes, it does not mean I am deplorable individual. When I allow myself to take this perspective, it gives me the opportunity to separate from shame based beliefs, objectively decipher what went wrong and apply this information to future situations.
Life is a perpetual experiment of trial and error as we are propelled towards self-actualization. I have no regrets, as such qualms are futile. Every decision I’ve made has accelerated my growth and allowed me to evolve into the person I am today. Life is too short to dwell it what could have been if only. It has been said “the point of power is in the present moment.” Only when we are completely immersed in the now can change occur. And so it is.